can’t see the forest

Just the Facts

Posted in badass, Chuck Norris, hero, humor, martial arts, silly, weird by Curtis on 9/26/07

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Now, you may not like everything I write. (I certainly don’t.)

And that’s okay. That’s okay, as long as we have the understanding that, if’n there ever comes a time when it’s clear this blog ain’t big enough for both us,

he’s on my team.

Lately, it seems, some bloggers have been taking cheap shots at my man Chuck. Idol-worship and such. Chuck knows when you’re being serious, and when you’re just making fun of him. Well: I feel that the above demonstration is a more than adequate rebuttal.

But it would be unChucklike to give up at “more than adequate,” so let’s review some facts, courtesy of

  • A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is the preferred method of execution in sixteen U.S. states.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. Chuck Norris decides what time it is.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

I think that about sums it up. So we can agree to disagree. Or we can call Chuck.

The Eyes of Texas are Upon You


2 Responses

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  1. Alabaster Crippens said, on 9/26/07 at 1:08 pm

    My favourite was always the fact that when he does push ups, he doesn’t actually push his body up, he pushes the Earth down.
    Now that’s hardcore.

  2. Curtis said, on 9/26/07 at 9:42 pm

    You got it.

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