The Onion – Bill Clinton Agrees to Disclose Guacamole Recipe

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Well, what else do you expect to happen when you establish a history of keeping the good sh*t secret??

From The Onion, 12/4/08:

WASHINGTON—In a major stride toward increased transparency of former presidents’ culinary activities, Bill Clinton agreed Monday to disclose a highly guarded guacamole recipe—including a full list of ingredients—so that his wife, Sen. Hillary Clinton, can be named the next Secretary of State. . .

. . .Administration insiders said that if the guacamole recipe is traced back to celebrity television chef Rachael Ray, Sen. Clinton will be compelled to decline her nomination.

Family secrets were made to be dished out, one glob at a time. C’mon, give up the guac.

Wait. Now, who am I to ask our former President to do something for me that I wouldn’t do for my President? Here’s a nice, simple, failsafe guacamole recipe from cooks.com that gets my stamp of approval:

1 ripe tomato, peeled
2 avocados
1/2 onion, minced
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 chopped green chile, or to taste
salt and pepper to taste

Mash together the tomato and avocados. Stir in remaining ingredients.Serve with warm tortillas.

Optional: Mix in pomegranate seeds for added color and a unique but authentic variation.

No, I didn’t omit the ingredients. Think top-secret clearance, presidential stuff. You’ll find them.

I haven’t tried the optional bit what with the pomegranate. Personally, I go light on the spice so that it contrasts with my hot salsa, and I like to be a little generous with the salt and sometimes replace the vinegar with lemon juice for a different kind of twang. And . . . sigh . . . yes, I do cheat and use a blender.